i suddenly had a case of the hemorrhoids late last night. it coincided with a bout of constipated diarrhea, if that's even a thing. as i kept going to the bathroom, it became more and more painful. i had some old hemorrhoidal cream stashed in some bathroom drawer that i managed to find. it didn't seem to do anything. it hurt so much that i had to sleep on my side, to prevent any pressure on my rear end. i had a hard time sleeping and by 6am i was still partially awake.

after i finished the last of my bagel for lunch, i went to market basket to get some groceries. i purposely bought only 12 items so i could use the 12 items or less lane.

once i dropped off my groceries, i went out again to walgreens. that's my local pharmacy of choice when i need to buy something embarrassing. i was there to buy some preparation-h. the one i have at home is just some generic store brand hemorrhoidal cream; i wanted to get something name brand; i think my ass deserves the very best. i returned home and tried the new cream. i didn't really that much difference, maybe more of a slight tingle. by that point my bowels had already calmed down since this morning.

one thing i never noticed is that my old hemorrhoidal cream contains shark liver oil (glycerin 12%, petrolatum 18%, shark liver oil 3%, phenylephrine HCl 0.25%). shark liver oil? what else is there, grounded deer antlers and tiger bones? but i did some research, and that's actually a real ingredient often found in hemorrhoidal creams, despite the fact that sharks are becoming endangered from overhunting. it's used as a moisturizer, but has no scientifically proven medical benefits otherwise. shark liver oil is not found in my new preparation-h cream however, although it used to be, before a recent reformulation.

i did 2 loads of laundry, a bunch of dirty clothes followed by my bedsheets. despite not really sleeping too much last night, i didn't take a nap today.

for dinner i heated up 2 nathan hot dogs, which is ironic, since i was just down in coney island this past weekend. tonight's highlight was the series finale of person of interest. although it was sad to see the series end, i think it was also time. i just love and cast and hope to follow them in their future endeavors.