i went to bed last night around 1am instead of 3:30am. somewhat of an improvement, but still leaves me with only about 5 hours of sleep. combined with the 3 hours i slept tuesday night gives me a day's worth of accumulated sleep in 2 days. i just want to do too much when i get home, the only time where i feel like i'm actually living. the perfect evening would include dinner outside of the office, a visit to the supermarket, an hour spent running, then a jaunt to the ancient town, followed by an hour or two of television followed by some blog work. there is not enough hours in a typical evening for me to do all of that. maybe tonight i will try to go to bed early, but i doubt it. i'm estimating an 11pm bedtime, but it'll be more like midnight. that'll gives me about 6 hours of sleep.

after lunch i watched "beijing meets seattle" AKA "finding mr.right" (english title), a chinese romantic comedy that came out earlier this year about chinese american culture clash. to say anything more would spoil it, i went into the movie knowing nothing about the plot other than a chinese woman going to seattle, and i think that's the best way to watch it. i think i might've heard about this movie at some point, but when fy was listening to the soundtrack yesterday morning on the bus ("it has both chinese and english songs," she said), it peaked my interest to track down the film and watch it.

i managed to talk fengya into having korean barbecue dinner with me. it took a bit of convincing, which seemed more difficult than it should if she was really interested in hanging out. if somebody invited me out to dinner i'd jump on the opportunity. still, i wasn't going to over-analyze her motivation.

it actually took us a little while to find the korean bbq restaurant inside the chongbai department store. there was actually a large table occupied by some of our korean coworkers. this must be a pretty good korean restaurant if koreans actually eat here, right? i waved hello, not sure if they noticed. we found a more private booth space to sit so we wouldn't have to see our coworkers.

fengya had eaten here once before, back when she was with her old company, for a birthday outing that involved 3 tables of guests. i learned she'd only been working for a year and a half. i asked if she felt any pressure to get married, and she said she feels more self-pressure to make something of herself and help out her family, which is just her mother and brother. she told me she helped pay for a part of her mother's retirement account (RMB$5800) and recently bought a tablet pc (RMB$1800) for her brother (who uses it just to play games). we also talked about our families.

the food wasn't that great. dishes were a bit on the pricey side (which is typical for mall restaurants, all style, no substance), and portions were either small or of an inferior quality. this is the second time i've had korean food in china and the experience has been very lacking. if i had to grade the meal, i'd give it a C or below. the eel sushi was good though.

the food was all besides the point. i snared fengya to dinner because i was waiting for an opportunity to let her know how i feel. i've been told this is a bad strategy, but we've been hanging out for more than a month now, and if i don't say something now, the moment may pass (or it may already have). but love is for the brave and tonight i was a big coward, unable to say how i really feel. now i just have to wait for the next opportunity.

during dinner guo texted fengya asking her if she wanted to go for a walk. after we finished, fengya went home to change while i went back to my apartment to use the bathroom. we met back downstairs, and waited for guo to show up.

we walked towards ancient town, but took a detour close to century park and came back around near the changshou elementary school. i finally came home for good around 9:30.

it's past 1:00 already. looks like i won't be getting any quality sleep tonight.