this is why i can't have nice things: i can put up with a lot of roommate nonsense, but if you scratch up my pots and pans, we can never be friends. while making some oatmeal this morning, i saw the scratches on my brand new italian non-stick cooking pan. i suddenly lost my appetite. last i checked, pots and pans were not supposed to be disposable. i don't think it's right that i have to buy a brand new pan each time i have a roommate but that seems to be the pattern. that was my only pan that wasn't scratched up and now i have none.

this is going to eat away at me like a cancer; i won't be able to do anything all this week until i buy a new pan and hide it until my roommate leaves. honestly, a pan doesn't cost that much money, but i think i buy the cheaper ones precisely because of the roommate scratching risk. maybe that's why i've also upped the rent recently; a hidden pan tax knowing that after a roommate leaves more than likely i'll need a new pan. i'm picky about my pots and pans and this pan in particular, because it was just the right size (9.5") for the glass lid of my original pan. even when i warn roommates not to scratch, they still do it. it's like they're incapable of cooking without scratching.

i went to the fresh pond tj maxx to see if they carried the pan i wanted, since that's where i got my last 2 replacement pans. they only had one but it was in this ugly brownish-purple-grey color ($9.99). there was a red pan but it had these raised patterns at the bottom that i didn't like. they also had a bunch of cuisinart pans but they were 10" (i was looking for 9.5").

not yet satisfied, i decided to head up to the assembly square mall, where there was another (bigger) tj maxx. they had a lot more pots and pans, but all their pans were cuisinarts, not what i wanted. i went next door to bed bath & beyond. a lot of different brands (cephalon, t-fal), but not what i wanted. i was intrigued by a pretty bialetti "nano-ceramic" saute pan but i didn't believe a ceramic pan would heat faster than a traditional metal pan. ac moore was next. they didn't have pans but they did have yarns, and i called my mother to give her a stock report. as i was leaving i saw a bunch of starbella yarn, all in these strange (somewhat ugly) colors. they were kind of expensive too ($7.99) when they're not on sale. i bought a small sketchpad and said hi to will my usual cashier. i went to christmas tree shoppe, where they had a no-name-brand red frying pan ($7.99) that seemed to be the perfect size. unfortunately the craftsmanship was kind of shoddy (imperfections on the cooking surface) so i couldn't buy it. finally, i walked all the way back, making one last stop at k-mart. here they were about food celebrity endorsed products, with their paula deen and emeril cookware. they had a pair of farberware fry pans ($17.99) that looked promising, in sizes 8" and 10", but i wasn't sure if my lid would fit that particular size.

i stopped by home depot to get some furnace filters (16x20"). they already put up the gardening displays and i bought some early season seed packets: sugar snap peas, best boy hybrid tomatoes, crimson giant radishes, and mammoth dill.

even though i came home panless, searching almost half a dozen stores seemed to have calmed me down. yes, my pan was scratched, but it wasn't that bad (i've definitely seen worse). besides, aren't non-stick pans bad for you anyway? and when was the last time i used the lid with the frying pan? when i casually confronted my roommate about the scratches, suggesting maybe she should make use of the wooden utensils, she was very apologetic and told me she'd buying me a new pan. i said it wasn't necessary.

my roommate was at home all day long so that's another reason why i wanted to be out of the house. i stopped by the cafe enroute to fresh pond and spoke with my 2nd aunt about her first new york city experience. they were supposed to see time square but thought the little sliver of billboards was already it so they missed it completely before taking the train into flushing. she brought back a custard and a sandwich for me to take home for dinner.