not much happened today, just working from home. i need a break (other than stealing away a few hours) but with a deadline so close, i can't rest now. i'll rest by month's end, treat myself to a beach, get away from it all. that's all i think about nowadays, the work. when i'm not working i feel guilty. am i becoming a workaholic? those who know me know this will never happen. i appreciate living too much to spend it all working, but the thing i do now is a mean to an end, i'll make enough money to get me through my unemployment period. i'm just tired, that's all.

photos from the garden:

and during lunch i went with bruce to the galleria mall. he had to pick up some t-shirts and socks, in the spur of the moment i got a pair of t-shirts myself (red and yellow, $6/each). the mall demographic is depressing. popular fashion is scary too, especially for girls, pants and skirts that look like they should be belts instead. after seeing the corporation, i realize that these places are just corporate churches, people come to worship by making donations to various name brands, this culture of spending money on manufactured wants. still, it didn't stop me from visiting the apple store and lovingly stroke the new button-free 4th generation ipods. i want one now but i'm still trying to justify a purchase like that to myself. the majority of my friends have one, and i've never heard any complaints from them.

we went to the petco across the street so i can buy some more elodea plants for my aquarium. unfortunately they didn't have any. their whole fish department is in a sorry state, like an aquatic version of abu ghraib prison. there were dead and dying fish floating in every tank, including some very expensive saltwater ones (in the $40/fish price range). a few looked like they've been dead for days, the colors faded from their scales. maybe it's just me, but when a fish is swimming upside down or on its side or has a bloated stomach, those might some clues that the fish might not be healthy. several times on the PA we heard an announcement for assistance in the fish section, and i thought maybe they were going to send somebody down because i was taking photos of all the dead fish, but no employee ever came by. elsewhere at the poor man's zoo, in their small critters department, they had a russian tortoise for sale. life expectancy: 75+ years. i don't think anyone should own a pet that could possibly outlive them. and neither should anyone own a pet that will eventually grow to 8' long, like a boa constrictor.

i came back home to work. my father just happened to drop by with some food, and told me that he and my mother would be spending another weekend camping in the woods. after 5pm my brain started shutting down. i wanted to go running but figured i'd already used up my ration of one personal break per work day. i decided to rest a little bit in bed, but before i knew it, it was dark outside, 9pm. i woke up to watch the red sox lose again, working on a can of soup eaten straight from the pot. so this is what i do on a friday night. i'm just too tired to even feel depressed about it. go to sleep, wake up tomorrow morning to work some more. la dolce vita.