i woke up to sunshine and a peek of blue sky outside the window. i got up before dan and mark and left the cabin for the house where there was already activity. some of the ladies (andie, mandy) had just gotten back from a run, and people were just starting to venture out into the sun. christine had just arrived, and john's friend lionel soon showed up as well. i went with mandy to explore the shoreline of the property, where this year's new addition was a wooden deck where once there was nothing more than tall reed grass. we saw a live horseshoe crab the size of a large frying pan retreat deeper into the water when we approached. below the wooden deck was a waterfront lines with seaweed covered ocean rocks and man-made bricks, the smell of sea rot and clouds of salt water flies. mandy thought about going into the water for a swim, and without hesitation hopped off of the deck and onto the rocks to further investigate. i reluctantly followed only so i wouldn't appear too cowardly, but i had serious reservations about the cleanliness of this rocky beach. on some slanted beams of wood were lined several more horseshoe crabs, dead and dried up ones.

as soon as john started to make pancakes for breakfast, dan, mark, mandy, and i went out to pick up some stuff from the local rite aid in the heart of westhampton center. i was entrusted with not only picking up some paper towels, but also a particular brand of conditioner for deanna. i also grabbed an issue of premiere magazine (tom cruise on the cover from samurai), the kind of lighthearted entertainment news that makes perfect lounging around reading. mark and mandy made a quick side trip to a local bakery to buy an apple pie for tonight's dessert.

i figured once we got back there wouldn't be anymore pancakes left, but apparently john had been working diligently over the stove making pancakes after pancakes, in what deanna affectionately calls "johnny cakes." besides plain, he also made cookie (which we missed) and blueberry as well. while we ate, mandy explained to us how to make "window toast", a technique i'm going to try the next time i make breakfast.

after brunch came pool time, everyone feeling the irresistable draw to the cold water on this hot day. i brought the sex doll (henceforth known as "sandy duncan"), which made for a great floatation device. i was only in the pool for a few minutes (with flippers of course, how else could i stay afloat?) before jumping into the hot tub. i found a woolly bear caterpillar on the deck, which surprisingly moved very fast, crawling up and down my arm before i put it back on the ground. megan spent most of the time underneath the gazebo, studying from a thick yellow pages-sized tome, some kind of business book, occasionally taking a break to get a snapshot with her disposable camera (her digital elph was broken).

what's the hamptons without a game of croquet? besides john and dan, mark and andie joined us for a game as well. we were attacked by mosquitoes before everyone sprayed down with a can of deet, i even got some into my mouth which tasted like pesticide. there were also these large dragonflies patrolling the skies. i'm a bad croquet player, hitting the ball way too hard, pounding the grass in fustration after every miss, occasional tossing the mallet in anger. dan was the big winner, followed by john, then andie. i was last, but after some lucky strokes, i was able to pull ahead of mark.

at 2pm i drove dan to the jfk airport, so he could meet his family coming down from pennsylvania, and then together they'd go to brazil for his wedding ceremony. driving to the airport was pretty effortless, but it still took 2 hours. dan would occasionally call his mother to let her know where we were. coming back from the airport was a different story however, as i got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic jam for about an hour. nevertheless, it still only took me a little bit over 2 hours to drive back to westhampton, even making a pitstop to get some gas and buy some candy and drinks. the total time it took me to drive to the airport and back i could've drive back home to boston. i got back to the house at 6pm, everyone was missing. one of the car was gone, so i figured some went out for groceries. i saw mark sitting in the porch on the swing. i later learned that mandy and some other houseguests went down to the took and took a swim in the ocean water, which to me seemed kind of risky, because the water is kind of smelly around that area, who knows what's in that.

as the sun started to set, we had a barbecue for dinner - burger, hot dog, corn. although john fired up the gas barbecue, mark was the grille master,

even rolling his own burgers. christine cooked the corn while mandy made the salad. while most of the people ate inside, i had my meal outside on the deck, watching the sun slowly recede over the horizon.

after dinner, we played apples to apples, a card game of word association, where players have to match the designated adjective card with a qualifying noun card. we played with the regular deck, then made our own.

  • "grease"
  • "i've fallen and i can't get up!" old lady
  • "outies" (belly button)
  • "that-not-so-fresh-feeling"
  • 4 guys in hot tub
  • a hooters bathroom
  • a pair (of gonads)
  • afro
  • american express
  • andie, andie, andie!
  • aqua net
  • ashton kutcher
  • ass
  • battle axe
  • bazooka joe
  • beer
  • bernadette peters
  • black sabbath tribute band
  • bloomingdales
  • bobby brown w/o coke
  • boinking buffy on the buck 9
  • boobs
  • bubble gum
  • bunnies
  • sno cone
  • camel toe
  • care bears
  • carneys
  • charlie sheen
  • cocaine
  • coffee
  • compound fractures
  • crack whores
  • david hasselhoff circa knight rider
  • exzema
  • f*cking
  • french kisses
  • george burn
  • giving the bird
  • going to dry cleaner w/awkward stains
  • hairy hands
  • hiking boots
  • horn-dogs
  • inigo montoya
  • irritable bowel syndrome
  • j-lo
  • j. lo's butt
  • j.lo + ben affleck's sham engagement
  • jabba the hutt
  • jerry seinfeld
  • jerusalem
  • jesus sandals
  • jock itch
  • john grisham
  • john lennon
  • k-hole
  • kelly ripa
  • kidney stone size of a fist
  • kirk cameron
  • kobe byrant
  • leprechauns
  • lionel richie
  • lizzie grubman
  • man-eater
  • masturbating bear
  • mini-skirts
  • morning breath
  • mr. belvedere
  • mr. rogers
  • mta workers
  • mullet
  • my ass
  • my baby's momma
  • my barmitsfa (sp?)
  • my bosom
  • my closet
  • my detachable penis
  • my hairball
  • my heart
  • my job
  • my little pony
  • my parent's bedroom
  • my spleen
  • my taint
  • my undergarments
  • my virginity
  • nasal spray
  • nathan lane
  • navel piercing
  • night of the living dead
  • ninja!
  • old school michael jackson (original nose)
  • olsen twins
  • palm pilots
  • people
  • pickle
  • pink hulk
  • pop rocks
  • possum stew
  • prongs
  • roger thomas
  • root canal
  • russia
  • sexy klingon vulcan chick
  • sheep
  • skid marks
  • sloppy seconds
  • smallpox
  • smelly cat
  • smug bastard
  • squash
  • starbucks
  • strip clubs
  • stud finder
  • superman's x-ray vision
  • tattoo of my girlfriend's name
  • teddy ruxpin
  • the bangles
  • the belgians
  • the economist
  • the fab five (queer eye)
  • the hamptons
  • the hulk
  • the pope
  • the twins
  • thong underwear
  • three's company
  • toe jam
  • toe jazz
  • tom cruise
  • tony yang
  • video games
  • wal mart
  • waxing patriotic
  • west virginia
  • wonder woman
  • woodstock
  • yo' momma
  • zamboni
  • after the game we watched thunder fist, the second bad movie john had brought with him for this weekend. it's a horribly dubbed kung-fu movie with terrible video transfer quality, about the japanese occupation and the power of the christian faith. mandy had disappeared, which had me concerned, since i was the one who persuaded to come down this weekend, i felt somewhat responsible for her well-being, and i hoped she didn't run off upset, bored with the company. i watched about 20 minutes of the movie before i decided to get back out to the cabin, where i took a hot shower and worked on the weblog until 2am.