even though i could probably do with some early sleep, i find myself unwilling to go to bed at this time, the clock fast approaching 3am. something is on my mind but i can't seem to articulate it, can't find the words to express the thoughts swimming in my head.

it's obscenely quiet in my house.

i used to do everything with the television on, the tv noise was like my radio. now i turn it off because it's distracting. i might listen to radio, but there's not a radio where i'm working (in the living room), and none of the internet radio stations i've discovered satisfy my musical tastes anymore.

so it goes without saying, it's quiet.

i live in a quiet part of cambridge as well, right on the border against somerville, kind of a dead part of the adjacent two towns. i don't hear any traffic noises, no car honks, no mbta bus, not even the commuter train that supposedly goes by a few blocks away (although i guess commuter trains don't run this late at night anyway).

here are the sounds i do hear: the clacking of my typing on my tiny mac keyboard. the hum of my g4 machine sitting on the floor. and every so often, the whirl of the furnace downstairs forcing up hot air throughout the house.

is silence a sound as well? silence is peaceful, calming, but silence is also desolate, empty, lonely. silence is nothingness and nothingness is what i'm feeling right now. i'm not happy or sad, nor am i distressed or calm. what i wouldn't give to feel something right now!

in the meantime, i'm just going to enjoy my little virtual marine aquarium...

lunch, scrambled eggs, sausages, and slices of clementine oranges with a fruit elixir. dinner, wonton soup that my parents brought over and cooked, we ate in the dining room area of the kitchen. somewhere during the middle of the day i briefly went out to joie de vivre to buy a birthday present for shannon, a packet of fizz tablets that changes the color of bathwater and a wind-up goldfish for the tub. joie de vivre has become my de facto store of choice for presents, i wonder if the people who work there recognize me already? sunday also means football, and i watched the steelers come back from a heavy point deficit to beat the browns (i was rooting for the browns). after watching last season's finale of the dead zone after dinner, i left for shannon's swiss-themed birthday party, featuring lots of cheese and chocolate and german cooking. (midway on my walk over i realized i left my camera at home.) by the end of the evening, the fiesta sort of broke into two camps, the international kids (shannon's housemates and their mutual friends) in one room, the web people in the other. we had the birthday girl in our camp (the webfolks). sooz's boyfriend michael dazzled us with his amazing ability to tell you off the top of his head how to drive from any city in the US to another city. later, we adjourned into the living room to open presents.

i left before 10pm, hurrying back to my house on icy sidewalks to catch the season premiere of the dead zone. later, i watched tonight's episode of alias on tape. ALIAS IS AWESOME. anyone who isn't watching, please don't, because the cool train has left the station. you can have your ER, your WEST WING, those shows can't compare to the absolutely amazing storyline of alias. it was so exciting tonight that i was actually talking to myself during the commercial breaks. "oh my god, are they going to kill marshall?" "holy crap, sydney totally has the hots for vaughn!" "oh my god, did will just tell vaughn he can have sydney?" "is jack in serious trouble with sd-6?" what about when irina derevko walked into CIA headerquarters in shackles to counterhack two renegade spy agencies out to tap CIA's satellite based information network? or jack falsify hard evidence of his supposed whereabouts? or sloane's decision to expend marshall? or dj dixon? or the fact that marshall actually saved sydney? how about sydney's outfit, a j.lo inspired red adidas club suit with knee length pants and a matching cap? and did anyone else see a red thong? i can't wait until next sunday.

verified by an old-fashion thermometer, it's 55 degrees in my foyer! how cold is a refrigerator, anyway? maybe if i run out of room, i can store some stuff in the foyer. thank god for the curtain. that front door is not very well insulated at all. i imagine it's the same case with the back door. being my first winter in this house, it's a voyage of climate discovery as i find out the cold and warm spots in my place. thank god winter is only 3-4 months here in new england. soon the weather will warm up and i won't have to take out a loan to pay for the heating bill!