50 reasons why lord of the rings sucked.

send somebody a fork card!

having a hard time finding something to wear the next time you go down south? how about confederate bikinis, dresses, and skirts?

trannies need the occasional inspirational words, just like everyone else.

tired of dating christians and jews? you might need some muslim love. by the way, what's laghw, and how come i'm not allowed to see it?

monkey hates robot, and robot hates monkey. (eric beacom originally introduced me to this insanely honest found footage).

i've always wanted a bug collection, but how much would you pay for a 4cm Calodema ribbei from papua new guinea? $100? $200? try $425.

i don't smoke, but i just want a bc vaporizer because it looks cool!

once i collect enough cans, i'm going to buy me this sweet t-shirt.

a great story, a great movie.

from the very beginning the movie starts off with a great intro, starting with the opening credits animation, kind of these retro kitschy stencil cutout images, and if you pay attention, it's actually summarizing the whole movie before it even starts. the music's catchy too, and when you see "john williams", you know you're in the hands of a professional here, it's not amateur night at film scoring school. i see another academy nomination for original music, if not another win. the final name on the opening credit is that of director, a relative unknown by the name of steven spielberg.

sit back, relax, enjoy the ride.

it's the story of frank abagnale jr. (leonardo dicaprio), an underaged runaway conman who impersonates a pilot, a doctor, and a lawyer (even having the audacity of using the ironic last name "conner"), and goes around cashing fake checks, which attracts the attention of fbi agent carl hanratty (tom hanks), who is determined to catch frank (hence the title).

did i mention christopher walken is in the movie as frank's father? and like many of his movies, you can't have a walken movie and not have him doing some sort of dance number, and this film doesn't disappoint on that front. how about jennifer garner? yeah, she's in this movie too as a high priced "escort." the brief scene where we first get introduced to her standing in the hotel hallway in her heels removing a glove with her mouth, and then the subsequent negotiation for services - sigh - thank god we can see more of her in alias and the upcoming daredevil movie!

the message of the film seems to be the importance of style over substance. no matter what people say, it's hard not to judge a book by its cover. and if you can look rich and famous and important, people will tend to treat you like the way you look. mental note: buy some new suits. the fact that frank collects labels from containers and bottles is symbolic of this "you are what you look like" idea. it's a very compelling message, and during the film you're rooting for frank, despite the fact that he's obviously guilty of embezzling over $4 million dollars from various banks.

dicaprio fills the role perfectly, his on-screen charm is very infectious, and i think with this movie he will regain his status as teenage heartthrob from his days of titanic. tom hanks is in a weird place as the hapless but stubborn agent; he's almost the villian in the movie (tom hanks, perennial nice guy, a villian? no!), because you so desperately want to see frank get away.

the ending (don't worry, i won't spoil it for you) is befitting the story as well, and a happy conclusion is resolved for all parties without it being swayed in one party's favor.

if this ends up being the last movie i see this year, then i'll say i ended the season on a high note.

unable to find anyone to go sledding with me the day after the big christmas snowstorm, i decided to go see a movie instead in harvard square. i made some scrambled eggs for breakfast (i'd been up since 9am) with a glass of mango juice. before i left, i shoveled the sidewalk and the steps one more time, clearing away the addition inches of snow that dropped down on cambridge since i shoveled late last night. i saw many of my neighbors doing the same thing, unified in our fear of lawsuits stemming from accidental falls outside our respective homes. the weather today was gorgeous, the landscape was white below the horizon and blue everything above. harvard square was a little bit more crowded than last night, but nothing approaching the massive crowds i witnessed the final days before the 25th. i got my matinee ticket for catch me if you can and walked into the darken theatre. here and there i saw singular patrons at their seats. there was a trailer for "how to lose a guy in 10 days," a romantic comedy starring matthew mcconaughey and kate hudson. the premise is sound, about a woman who bets she can dump a guy in 10 days, while the man she picks has a bet of his own where he can get any woman to fall in love with him. but kate hudson? isn't she a little young for mcconaughey? he's 10 years old than her. somehow i'm picturing j.lo in the role (hey, if meg ryan and tom hanks and make it work, i'm sure matthew and jennifer can do it to). before the movie ended, i had a bout of "i really need to go the bathroom," and when the credits finally rolled, i raced upstairs and stood 3 long minutes in front of the urinal.

when i got home i saw my nstar utilities bill. my electricity bill remains the same ($40), but my gas bill jumped to an eye-popping $120, despite my energy saving efforts. it is true that it was an unseasonably cold month of december, and i've been using the gas stove a lot more than the previous month due to all my cooking efforts. i don't think i can decrease the heat anymore than what i already have it set at (65 degrees), and i certainly won't stop cooking, so the only thing that i can tight up on in an increased effort to minimize my heating bill is to take less showers. maybe i could just fill up the bathtub with sand and clean myself by rolling around in it.

dinner, turkey fried rice, one of the rare times when i was improvising a recipe. it was okay, although a bit bland, i had to spice it up with several shakes of the tabasco bottle. for the drink, a banana strawberry fruit elixir. my parents stopped by briefly after dinner to drop off some supplies, including two new cookbooks they'd bought (one chinese, the other thai).

i don't think my upstairs neighbor is home. i realized that late last night, and cranked up the volume on my television and stereo because of it. he didn't tell me where he went, the last time he went on an extended trip he left me note, like i was the residential assistant of our condo. hopefully it's someplace warm, but i remembered he told me like to ski, so maybe someplace cold.