"have a nice weekend!"

have a nice weekend? is that what you said? oh, you know i will. it's on. you know how i know that i'm going to have a nice weekend? because i don't have to work. did you hear that oh lord? i ain't working this weekend! ladies, if you got pistols, it's time to shoot them up the air like you just don't care!

today the office did something nice and bought everyone pizza for lunch because so many deliveries were going out, catch a delivery by the tail friday. but guess what? for those who were working like myself, when do i have time to eat? so the end result was everyone else got pizza except for those who were working. i only had one slice, a cold hard leftover piece of vegetarian pizza. i've become such a masochist anyway on my one millionth day of work, that it's almost befitting that i would get the last remaining leftover piece of pizza. the company, heart (pointing to chest) was in the right place, but it just didn't have the desired effect. sort of like airdropped american aid package to the people of afghanistan. it's not everyday i get to feel like an afghan refugee.

so today i ended up working 12 hours instead of the optimistic 10 hours i had projected for myself. my bad! next time i'll know to always add a few extra bonus work hours when i'm doing my timesheet.

okay, with the beta finally going out, how do i feel? physically, i'm tired. i have a cough that's bordering on recovery, except i haven't had time to rest since getting sick, so it keeps on lingering. emotionally, i'm not feeling that post-project euphoria that i normally feel after a project is finished. i've been saying this for a while, but i just feel numb. i don't feel happy, i don't feel sad, i just don't feel at all. maybe it's the exhaustion, i don't have the energy to elate. almost seems like i have to relearn how to feel all over again. the title of that terry mcmillan book keeps on repeating over and over in my mind. waiting to exhale. that's what i'm doing right now.

eliza got me a congratulary present, a small bottle of bubbles. when i first saw it, i thought it was one of those new year's confetti shooters. or maybe a piece of chocolate shaped like a champagne bottle. thank god there's a warning label that says not to eat the product.

i also got a song stuck in my head, lisa loeb's "waiting for wednesday." it's actually been stuck for the past two days now. if it doesn't disappear on its own soon, i might need to consult a doctor.