it's friday night and i am working. after tonight i will have worked an 80 hour week. while everyone trickled out to enjoy the weekend, i am here in the office working. i am not bitter though. it just feels weird. weird is that all encompassing feeling. i feel weird about a lot of stuff. anything that's out of the ordinary feels weird. tonight definitely feels weird. the office is silent, other than the hum of the ventilation system and the noise of typed keyboard keys. i am not too tired, nor am i fully awake. it feels peaceful. if i have to be that guy who stays late on the weekend while everyone else is enjoying themselves in order for the project to be complete, i am perfectly happy to be that guy. just don't count on me being that guy for too many weekends. what am i missing tonight? i am missing a squid country safari halloween party. i didn't really have time to come up with a costume anyway, but the decision to not go was sort of decided for me by the schedule of this project. i would've liked to have gone. i've been to their halloween party for the past 2 years, this is my first year missing it. i am missing either some world series or some dark angel action on television. other than that, i really didn't have any weekend plans. sure, it would've been nice to be at home and relaxing, but you play the hand that fate deals you. at this point, i just want to get this project done, taste that post-project euphoria. it's close, i just have to stay focused, stay relaxed, stay motivated. i think back to all the other projects i've done over the half decade i've been working. projects always get done, for better or worse. it might be painful (most of the time i count on a little pain), but they come through in the end. i'm definitely less bitter, less disgruntled tonight. maybe it was that run around the charles river right after regular work (5pm). nothing like a punishing run on my body to ease some of that tension. maybe it was the hot shower afterwards. whatever it was, it seemed to have done the trick. if there's one night to be angry, if there's one night to be disgruntled, it'd be friday night working at the office. but i'm not.