i am the lowliest of lows. i am the boy who goes to the mall with a girl to help her find a birthday present for her boyfriend. i am reminded of positive k's words of wisdom when he said, what's your man got to do with me? but being that i am shameless, that i have no natural will power, that i am a sucker when it comes to lunchtime excursions, i said yes.

so amanda and i went to the galleria. not knowing what to get her bf and not wanting to get him a gadget (which is what i suggested over and over again -- either that or a big life-size cutout of britney spears), she opted for the boring choice of a sweater. i told amanda that when a gf gets a bf a sweater, it's like she's trying to control him, telling him what to wear. the bf will respond by never wearing the sweater except when the gf comes over to visit. she didn't believe me. who's the guy here, who knows how dudes thinks?

so simultaneously while amanda was searching for a sweater (my suggestion: "hey, i bet he really loves pink!"), she was also trying to help me in my quest to find a pair of red pants. j crew, abercrombie fitch, men's warehouse, old navy. we hit all those stores. at banana republic i located a pair of wine red corduroy ($60) that i went to try out in the dressing room. when i came out not wearing the red pants, i was promptly scolded by amanda who was waiting outside with camera ready, trying to get a photo of me in red pants. i didn't wear them out because 1) they made my ass look fat, and 2) they were too baggy. if i'm not going to look good in them, then i don't want anybody to see me wearing a pair!

banana republic was where amanda finally found a sweater she liked. she made me try it on to see how it'd fit , even though it was too large for me. did i mention i am the lowliest of the lows? i am amanda's walking talking mannequin, thank you very much.

later on during the day, after 5pm, laurie joined in my search for red pants with the suggestion that i go online and visit european men fashion webstores for a pair of red pants. we stumbled across international male, which i suddenly remembered carries a lot of gay men fashion. but guess what? they got red pants! well, the only good pair they had was a pair of red leather pants for $200. hmmm, am i a rockstar? nope, i'm just a simple young man with a simple dream of owning a pair of simple red pants. i'll pass on red leather, but maybe it'll go on my christmas wish list with the holiday season right around the corner...

one more thing: we have never laughed so hard over pennies jokes!