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my house in cambridge has become a burden.

i no longer see it as something good. it's like a prison sentence, everyday (including weekends) i visit for a few hours, do some work on it, then leave, yet there's still a lot of work to be done, none of which i can really control, as i an under the mercy of the general contractor, electrician, plumber, floor installers, and window installers. i'm ready for them to start working now, but they have their own schedules too, so there's a lot of calling and waiting for the right people to become available. people ask me all the time, "how's the house coming along?" or, "have you moved in yet?" these are all legitimate questions, and i am thankful for their concerns, but i've answered all so many times and in so many different ways, sometimes i just want to wear a little placard explaining everything instead of having to elaborate once more. this home renovation thing is a test of patience. everyday, every week, i am tested. june 19th was when i closed on the place. in less than two weeks, it will be two months since the closing. i think even then the house won't be ready.

at the very least it gives me something to do. if it wasn't for the house, i'd have nothing to occupy myself with other than job searching. because of all this home renovation work, i can put reemployment on the backburner for the time being without feeling guilty. at least that's what i tell myself, that's my rationalization. i feel like a pariah amongst the unemployed though. while others are busy looking for work, i'm out doing everything else other than looking. "how's the job search going?" people ask. i feel like i've explained myself more than i like to. the answer to that question will be on a second set of wearable placard.

i didn't do anything particularly noteworthy today other than strip paint. my thumbs hurt again from pulling off hot globs of paint from the scraping tool. my condo neighbor, or one of his visiting friends, was upstairs, busily thumping about. i wonder if i'll get to use that sound anytime soon. the pleasures of condominium living i suppose, tracing the footsteps of your neighbors on your ceiling. the weather was gorgeous today, a most pleasant summer day, blue sky with big puffy expressive white clouds. i went back to belmont at 4pm but then decided to ride the motorcycle all the way down memorial drive, across the longfellow bridge, and back around storrow drive. it was cathartic. the speed (65 mph), the wind (jacket billowing like a cape), the sky (nice calming blue), the clouds (layers upon layers of white clouds), i felt better once i got back.