counting my own graduation, this was the fourth belmont high school graduation i've attended. i've probably gone to more of these graduations (at the same school) than anyone i know. it was my godmother's younger son jack's graduation ceremony. i went very jaded and bored, wanted to have the whole thing be over as quickly as possible. graduates file into the gymnasium dressed in bhs maroon. the national anthem plays. class president andrew sullivan (deerfield academy) gives his welcoming remarks. he used the mastercard commercial metaphor, about certain things being priceless. yawn. enter madrigal singers. what's with all these chorus singing? for once, i'd love to see a school band perform a cover of a graduation related song. who knows, maybe the alice cooper classic "school's out." if only it was a rock and roll high school! that'd be so cool, and i wouldn't be bored and i'd have a great time and i'd come back again and again ever year! anyway, madrigal singers sing "one moment in time." valedictorian inna livitz (harvard university) gives an address to the graduates. if nothing else, inna has the most beautiful storybook voice i have ever heard. her words are mellifluous, even when she uses the cliché "threads in a tapestry" metaphor or when she quotes emerson. i was just really impressed by her voice. later i discover that she's also a student of the chinese language (she's russian herself), which makes me even more impressed. superstar in the making! address over, enter more singers! while they're singing their "tribute", in my head pink floyd's "another brick in the wall - part 2" is playing at a high volume. salutatorian claire valentin (city year/university of chicago) gives the next address. she quotes from snow falling on cedar hill and starts talking about how "martin luther king jr. is dead. jfk is dead. where can we look for new leaders?" her speech is not as polished as inna's, nor as trying-hard-to-be-funny as andrew's. maybe she's just kind of angry she wasn't valedictorian. honey, if you just worked a little harder, maybe you could've beaten that other girl and gone to harvard! her address finished, guess what? bring in more singers! i am slowly rocking in my bleacher seat to calm my frayed nerves. the song, ironically enough, is titled "it's time to go." at least i haven't lost my sense of humor! exit singers, enter principal foster e. wright. foster gives a little speech, and in it he said he's worried about the many students who weren't singled out for excellence, that they might go through life not knowing their own self-worth. for once i get serious and i sort of agree. right after this speech, he starts with the achievement awards presentation. what happened to not singling out individual students but rather celebrating the worthiness of everyone? award ceremony ends, a new batch of singers take center stage. by now i've already looked at the program a million times, charting the progress of the ceremony, counting down to the actual diploma presentation. after the singing, it's finally time for what everyone's waiting for: some sweet diploma action! how many students, 220? oh my dear lord it's going to take forever! i start rocking in my seat again. that's when i have another epiphany. diploma presentations are so stale. going back to my rock and roll high school idea, what if there's a band playing during the whole presentation? like a drummer would be lighting tapping the cymbals, but as soon as a name gets read, the drummer would give a drum roll. or maybe if something funny happens on stage, a rim shot. or maybe -- picture this in your mind -- cowbells! i'm getting goosebumps! background music is a crucial missing element in these situations! it would totally spice up the ceremony, and like i said before, i'd be so captivated and entertained that i'd come back every year! diplomas having been all presented, foster says a little something else which i wasn't paying much attention to because -- guess what? -- in case you didn't get enough madrigal singers (i *heart* madrigals!) here they come again, bringing down the house with their rendition of "an irish blessing"! people, keep your arms and legs inside the car because we don't want anybody getting hurt! and please, curb your enthusiasm! once the singing is done, the band starts playing the recessional march as the graduates start filing out of the gymnasium, friends and family swarming behind them in a frenzy to get that extra special graduation money shot of the much beloved son or daughter transfixed in post-graduation bliss. i secretly sneak out the back way (this *was* my high school, i know all the secret passage ways) and wait outside for the mass of people to disperse. once everyone reconvenes outside, some photos are taken and thus concludes another high school graduation experience.